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"Westlake
Barbie"
♀

This
princess Barbie is sold only at Davenport Village. She comes
with an
assortment of Kate Spade,
Prada and LV Handbags, Rolex watch a Lexus SUV, a long-haired
foreign dog named Honey and a 25,000 sq ft. patio home.
Available with or without tummy tuck and facelift. Workaholic
Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
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"Round
Rock Barbie"
♀

The modern day homemaker
Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan
and matching gym
outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
(Traffic jamming cell phone sold
separately)
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"East Riverside Barbie"
♀

This
recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit.
This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in
cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop,
then we don't know what you are talking about.
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"Lakeway Barbie"
♀

This yuppie
Barbie comes with your choice of Rolls Royce convertible or
Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and
country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow
Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any
of them.
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"Bastrop
Barbie"
♀

This pale model comes dressed
in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR
t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a
six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can
spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is
drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a
confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
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"Warehouse District Barbie"
♀

This collagen
injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit
and drinks
cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet® prescription
available as well as warehouse conversion condo.
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"Buda Barbie"
♀

This
tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with
one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of
Bastrop Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise
acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through
halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
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"Travis
Heights Barbie"
♀♀

This doll is
made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy
armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She
prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a
Ken doll, but if you purchase two Travis Heights Barbies and the
optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for
free.
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"Del Valle
Barbie"
♀

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979
Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since
the addition of the infant.
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"Hutto
Barbie"
♀

She's perfect in every way. We
don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.
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"Downtown Barbie/Ken"
♀
♂

This versatile doll can be
easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply
adding/subtracting the
multiple snap-on parts.
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